1. The Law of Physics States ... it's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard.
2. Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.
3. A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
4. Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.
5. A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are ... that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.
6. That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
7. If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
8. Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.
9. A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
10. It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
11. If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
12. You probably wouldn't look good in a green jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine.
13. It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing brain surgery.